You say potato, I say bleeeuuuuch…

Welcome to the Carnival of Weaning: Weaning – Your Stories

This post was written for inclusion in the Carnival of Weaning hosted by Code Name: Mama and Aha! Parenting. Our participants have shared stories, tips, and struggles about the end of the breastfeeding relationship.

The Plan

Bub gets his first taste of solid foods in week one. By week two he’s eating them twice a day, week three, three times a day, and by week four, it’s whizzed up portions of Mum & Dad’s meals and a side of juice. Sure, he’ll like some things more than others, be hungrier some days than others, but essentially after a month it’ll be baby in a highchair spooning food into his ear, and Mum having a glass of wine with dinner. Hurrah!

The Reality

We’re three months in, and the only things he’ll routinely unglue the lips for are bread crusts and baby cookies. Which is not to imply the process has been painful; on the contrary, the faces Finn pulls as he tries new foods are frequently so funny his father and I almost fall off our chairs laughing. And his enthusiasm for eating is curiously undimmed given how few foods he actually enjoys—he kicks with delight when we put his highchair into position and slaps his hands on the food tray as though to say, ‘Bring it on, Mum!’

The first item rejected was stewed carrot, which produced a look of such disgust you’d imagine we’d spooned pure poison into the poor little soul. He ate boiled sweet potato once, then refused to have any more to do with it. Rice cereal was tolerated once a day for a couple of weeks and then refused point blank. Pears and yoghurt are out, cooked apple is equally uninteresting, mashed potato mixed with boiled spinach was acceptable twice before the head began turning away in distaste, banana has been in and out of favour about four times, and sieved prunes are wonderful for smearing about the face and tray, but almost never to be eaten.

Reading about Baby Led Weaning led me to wonder if he disliked the mushy texture of these foods, so I switched to handing him whole pieces of banana, roast carrot, boiled parsnip and prune. While he was somewhat more likely to try these—after giving them a good squeeze & smear of course—he still didn’t actually eat them in any quantity. Certainly nothing like the quantities the babies in The Books apparently wolf down, several times a day.

Even bread was regarded with high suspicion at first. For a week he would cheerfully accept a piece in order to peer at it up close, hold it at arm’s length, turn it over, squeeze it as hard as he could, and finally drop it on the floor to gaze upon from afar. But taste it? The moment it neared his mouth he gave me a ‘You must be joking!’ look and clamped his lips shut. This from a baby who has cheerfully sucked on chair legs, licked the floor, and chewed on every toy he owns.

In which a baby attempts to eat a portion of bread approximately the size of his own head

As you can see, Finn’s now quite fond of bread.

I am heartily in agreement with all those who recommend children be introduced to foods at their own pace, according to their own tastes, without any pressure or silly tactics like aeroplane noises or choo-choo trains. So I feel a particularly sheepish kind of guilt inventing all kinds of songs and games to get him to open his mouth to just taste a new food, not to mention sneak in a vitamin here and a mineral there by smearing one foodstuff (e.g. avocado) on another (bread). Sitting there with him at another failed meal, the small portion of something nutritious rejected after a quarter of a teaspoon has been sampled, it’s hard not to panic. This child will never eat! I’ll be breastfeeding forever!

Given this parade of negative reactions, I’ve been surprised by how little the various books and websites have to say about babies who don’t like solid foods. What to Expect makes the alarming point that it can take up to 15 tastes for a baby to accept a new food, which means we have 10-12 to go for everything he’s ever eaten (aarg

h!). Everyone else just counsels patience. So I’m trying to forget The Plan, have put thoughts of lovely dry German Rieslings out of my mind for another few months (sigh), and keep offering him something fresh before nursing during the day, hoping each time that we’ll strike gold with a new fruit or vegetable.Given this shaky start I’m eager to hear how other parents have helped their babies learn to enjoy solid foods. Did you start with fruits or veggies? Purée or solid? And did your little ankle-biter enjoy things once or twice only to reject them thereafter?

Thank you for visiting the Carnival of Weaning hosted by Dionna at Code Name: Mama and Dr. Laura at Aha! Parenting.

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants (and many thanks to Joni Rae of Tales of a Kitchen Witch for designing our lovely button):

 

(This list will be live amind updated by afternoon May 21 with all the carnival links.)

  • Is This Weaning?: A Tandem Nursing Update — Sheila at A Living Family bares all her tandem nursing hopes and fears during what feels like the beginning of the end for her toddler nursing relationship.
  • Memories of Weaning: Unique and Gentle — Cynthia at The Hippie Housewife shares her weaning experiences with her two sons, each one unique in how it happened and yet equally gentle in its approach.
  • Weaning Aversion’Gentle Mama Moon shares her experience of nursing and unplanned weaning due to pregnancy-induced ‘feeding aversion’.
  • Three Months Post-Mup: An Evolution of Thoughts On Weaning — cd at FidgetFace describes a brief look at her planned (but accelerated) weaning, as well as one mamma’s evolution on weaning (and extended nursing)
  • Weaning my Tandem Nursed Toddler — After tandem nursing for a year, Melissa at Permission to Live felt like weaning her older child would be impossible, but now she shares how gentle weaning worked for her 2 1/2 year old.
  • Every Journey Begins with One Step — As Hannabert begins the weaning process, Hannah at Hannah and Horn‘s super power is diminishing.
  • Reflections on Weaning – Love Changes Form — Amy from Presence Parenting (guest posting at Dulce de Leche) shares her experience and approach of embracing weaning as a continual process in parenting, not just breastfeeding.
  • Weaning Gently: Three Special Ideas for SuccessMudpieMama shares three ideas that help make weaning a gentle and special journey.
  • Guest Post: Carnival of Weaning — Emily shares her first weaning experience and her hopes for her second nursling in a guest post on Farmer’s Daughter.
  • 12 Tips for Gentle Weaning — Dr. Laura at Aha! Parenting describes the process of gentle weaning and gives specific tips to make weaning an organic, joyful ripening.
  • Quiz: Should You Wean for Fertility Treatments? — Paige at Baby Dust Diaries talks about the key issues in the difficult decision to wean for infertility treatments.
  • I thought about weaning… — Kym at Our Crazy Corner of the World shares her story of how she thought about weaning several times, yet it still happened on its own timeline.
  • Celebrating Weaning — Amy at Anktangle reflects on her thoughts and feelings about weaning, and she shares a quick tutorial for one of the ways she celebrated this transition with her son: through a story book with photographs!
  • Naturally Weaning Twins — Kristin at Intrepid Murmurings discusses the gradual path to weaning she has taken with her preschool-aged twins.
  • Gentle Weaning Means Knowing When to Stop — Claire at The Adventures of Lactating Girl writes about knowing when your child is not ready to wean and taking their feelings into account in the process.
  • Weaning, UnWeaning, and ReWeaning — Jennifer at True Confessions of a Real Mommy discovers non-mutal weaning doesn’t have to be the end. You can have a do-over.
  • Prelude to weaning — Lauren at Hobo Mama talks about a tough tandem nursing period and what path she would like to encourage her older nursling to take.
  • Demands of a Nursing Kind — Amy Willa at Me, Mothering, and Making it All Work shares her conflicted feelings about nursing limits and explores different ways to achieve comfort, peace, and bodily integrity as a nursing mother.
  • Breastfeeding: If there’s one thing I know for sure… — Wendy at ABCs and Garden Peas explores the question: How do you know when it’s time to wean?
  • Five, Four, Three, Two, One, Two, Three? — Zoie at TouchstoneZ discusses going from 3 nurslings down to 1 and what might happen when her twins arrive.

27 thoughts on “You say potato, I say bleeeuuuuch…

  1. The best piece of advice I can offer is to not stress over eating. Offer small pieces of the food you are eating and let him play – it’ll eventually make it to his mouth. That was what we did and I now have a two year old that regularly eats sushi, veggies and anything someone else is trying to enjoy! Hang in there.

    • Sushi! The day we can share some nori together will be a celebration indeed ;-D Am definitely trying not to stress, thanks so much for your comment Shannon :-)

  2. Your babe’s reaction made me laugh :) My son was not interested in food at. all. He gnawed on a sweet pepper around 10 months, a green bean shortly thereafter, but I don’t think he actually ingested anything until he was 11 or 12 months. I knew, though, that he was healthy on a steady diet of mama’s milk. I think #2 will try solids earlier – at 5 months she is already interested in our food. But I think I’ll encourage her to wait a little longer :)
    ~Dionna @ Code Name: Mama
    http://codenamemama.com

  3. I would also agree with the comment above not to stress (easier said than done, especially for a first time Mama). My little didn’t eat any solids other than occasional bread crusts until well after 12 months. He just LOVED his breastmilk. We tried baby led weaning, we tried spoon feeding – he just wasn’t interested. Eventually, he came around slowly and eats fine now. Table food is just for playing and experimenting for much of the first year. There is a wonderful book called Child Of Mine by Ellyn Satter that once I read, “Your job is to offer healthy food, his job is the eat it. Remember to always feed with love and respect.” — I stopped stressing about mealtime and just enjoyed my baby.

  4. Here from the carnival of weaning!
    http://www.breastfeedingnetwork.org.uk/pdfs/Alcohol_and_Breastfeeding_March_2009.pdf
    http://www.lrc.asn.au/ABA_Alchohol_BF.pdf
    Those links might make you happy… I drink a glass of wine with ,my tea every so often. It’s no biggie :)
    At 11 months my (huge) son has finally started eating more than a tiny taste of food. As long as your LO is developing normally just let him go at his own pace.
    And tbh I’d give him some more exciting foods! ;) Our LO was 6 months just before christmas. His first meal was christmas dinner :) We’ve always just given him tastes of ‘real’ food and he’s always enjoyed it even when not really eating. falafel, home made pizza (carbs, veg and a bit of cheese, what’s not to love?!), curry… chunks of meat to chew… hummous on toast… my LO had a pastrami sandwic at 7 months and wolfed it down…. whole apples to chomp on if he has teeth! cherry tomatoes, thick slices of cucumber…. scrambled egg! keep trying and as shannon says don’t stress :)

    have you read the baby led weaning book? I really liked it :)

    • Wow it’s excellent to read some actual stats on alcohol and breastfeeding, thank you Beth! I might carefully measure out 100ml of a local tipple every now and then :-D

      How lovely to begin solid foods with Christmas dinner! I am certainly willing to offer anything and everything with Finn, after all it can’t go any worse than the bland stuff eh? He has successfully had a nibble on some roast chicken so you may be right about more exciting flavours and textures. I haven’t read the baby led weaning book but there is something decidedly reassuring about the notion handing them a sample of everything and trusting them to try what they like – particularly when the only reaction a spoon of goo gets is two windmilling arms and some very pursed lips LOL.

      • One of my friends is doing BLW but was sticking very much to fruit and veg. One day she was round at mine and I offered her some falafel for her LO as I was giving my son some. She looked dubious but offered her some to try. She basically sat and wolfed the whole thing down very neatly (while my two month older LO basically picked his to pieces and dropped it all over the floor!). Since then she’s been giving her a much wider range of food and she’s doing fantastically! I hope your LB enjoys experimenting a bit more – glad he enjoyed his chicken :D
        And enjoy that glass of wine :D

  5. Oh, go ahead and drink the wine, woman! Seriously, half a glass with your dinner now and then won’t hurt the kid, and will make you very happy.

    My son is six and lives on peanutbutter sandwiches, so I have nothing useful to tell you about solids. The best thing you can do, if you are so inclined, is to have another. Now that his sister eats lots more than he does, at least I know it wasn’t something I did wrong. If they like food, they’ll eat it. If they don’t – well, come over here and sit by me.

  6. I did baby-led weaning. I did happen to be blessed with a baby who was WAY into food, but I think it’s because he was a poor nurser and wasn’t getting what he needed from me. From the stories I hear, if you breastfeed and have plenty of milk, it’s likely your child just won’t be enthusiastic for food at six months. Kids know to eat what they need. Formula-fed kids apparently need food sooner. Some babies aren’t much into solids before one. It’s really not a problem! They will wean eventually either way.

    Oh, and P.S. You do know it’s okay to drink a bit while nursing, right? Just don’t get hammered … or if you do, wait till you’re sober before nursing again. A glass of wine is totally fine. If you’re safe to drive, you’re safe to nurse.

    • It’s so good to hear someone acknowledge the stress, Hannah! I remain surprised by how blasé the descriptions in various baby books are – they scarcely mention the possibility that baby might not be too impressed by stewed carrots or apple purée. And it’s so hard not to worry that they aren’t getting enough vitamins etc if they don’t eat something fresh. But yes, deep breaths and the long-term view seem to be the way to go; some day it will be nori rolls all ’round ;-)

  7. Another vote to go ahead with the Riesling! Beth gave you the stats but I will say that after breastfeeding for nearly 2 decades it would take a lot to convince me that I have to choose between my life (whether it is wine, tattoos, or spicy foods) and breastfeeding LOL. I’ll also through in a vote for the baby-led weaning…. or as I call it another tool in my lazy parenting tool box (along with nursing, co-sleeping, baby-wearing, etc). My kids ate when they could get it to their mouths and they ate either what the rest of us were eating or some version there of. Some of them are great eaters, some are picky, some are built like bouncers, others have fallen off the growth charts – it didn’t seem to have anything to do with their introduction to solids :) . You are doing great mama!

    • Jessica, you’ve reminded me that obsessing about one detail of our babies’ lives can blind us to all the other factors that make them who and what they are ;-) Variation within families is amazing isn’t it? Same parents, same influences and such different little people. I think Finn is leading the weaning by default – amazing the power of a pair of tightly shut baby lips – and I must say since his last tooth came through he has shown more interest in trying solid foods, though the volumes are still miniscule! He is still nursed every 3-4 hours though so presumably he isn’t about to expire from scurvy etc ;-)

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  13. Anelie- I do hope you’re making videos of him tasting new foods. I was laughing just reading about his response. They do have their own plan, don’t they? Hard to imagine that as a teen he’ll be wolfing down dinner, but to everything there is a season. In the meantime, I hope you get your Riesling soon!

    • We have many amusing photos of Finn pulling faces at mealtimes Dr Laura :-D I’ve inserted one above – we had a slightly stale portion of bread and my husband handed it to Finn as a joke; as you can see he gave it a go! It’s mind-boggling to think that someday I won’t be able to fill him up ;-)

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  17. As a first time mum myself I feel your pain! My little girl is 19 months now and has only recently started to eat anything of substance. We still have ‘good’ and ‘bad’ days though! I wholeheartedly agree with trying some more adventurous foods. It works well for us, spicy curries are my lovely’s favourites. She will still not go near anything bland, let alone actual baby food! I went from being quite relaxed about it (we were only starting) to getting quite worried (she wasn’t growing according to those bloody charts and we had been trying solids for a good 6 months) to being relaxed again (she is happy and healthy and developing well).

    I am still nursing twice a day, my choice to limit it, not hers. If you had told me this 2 years ago I would have laughed. Now, I am happy that I can be certain that even on the bad days she always gets at least some nourishment from me. I am hoping to wean fully soon but so far I can’t see it happening. Patience, patience, the most wonderful skill to have as a parent. If it doesn’t come naturally you just have to learn!

    Good luck!

  18. Hi, my dd is now 33mo and she was exactly the same – total and utter disinterest in any solids up until she was 2 years old…! I took her to feeding clinic as she was losing weight (after about 20 months of being on the 95th centile), but she only started to eat solids once I got pregnant and my milk supply dried up. Now I have a 4mo ds and dd still wants to breastfeed all the time, so I have to work very hard to get real food into her. She also had tongue-tie, which meant that even if she was (rarely) inclined to try foods, she couldn’t get them to the back of her mouth and swallow so she would just spit them out after chewing. She does eat all sorts of things now (except meat as she still can’t cope with the texture), but it has been a long process! There’s light at the end of the tunnel… Also, ds is much less needy about breastfeeding – it is just food to him, not comfort as well – and he is desperate to eat what is on my plate at 4mo, so despite all the ‘professionals’ basically telling me it was my fault and I hadn’t weaned my daughter properly, I know it has nothing to do with me and all I could do was respect her choice/disinterest in food – you can’t force-feed them!

    The LLL book ‘My Child Won’t Eat’ helped me a lot in terms of feeling ok about it all… Worth a read!

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